Setting: Laundromat
Characters: Silas, Dephin
Silas: This machine just won't come on! She goes to another machine Damn, it's still not working (She kicks the machine)
Delphin: Walks up carefully towards Silas. You know what, you can use mine. I haven't put my clothes in yet.
Silas: Okay, then which one are you going to use? looking aaround
Delphin: I don't know, just go ahead. (Aside: This woman looks like she's about to pu her hair out! For my safety, she better go before me)
Silas: Thank you, so what's your name?
(Man bursts into the building)
Man: There you are! you good for nothing piece of crap. pointing towards Delphin
(Delphin runs out of the laundromat through another exit)
Man: So it's like that huh!
Delphin: I'm so sorry!
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Playwriting critique
I think the playwriting exercise in class was a good way for us to explore our creativity and tap into ideas that we never would've thought of on outr own. The ideas of having a setting to start off with and different characters is a good start because creating a play, I believe is not an east task.
When I was writing my play, I was already thinkning about the props I would include on stage and how I can further develop my characters. To a certain extent, this activity created a stream of consciousness and that makes it worthwhile in my opinion.
When I was writing my play, I was already thinkning about the props I would include on stage and how I can further develop my characters. To a certain extent, this activity created a stream of consciousness and that makes it worthwhile in my opinion.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Exercise 9: Singing Child
This is a replacement poem taken from p331 in the text:
I hear the child singing in the room,
The left hand higher than the right, the
bass music - the song is restated.
Now the musuc can stay in my memoory
in and around the peaceful horse.
Now the child can sing another tune
and the dogs can close their mouths a little.
Later the neighbors can come together
and sing for another time, almost like the choir
without a leader.
I hear the child singing in the room,
The left hand higher than the right, the
bass music - the song is restated.
Now the musuc can stay in my memoory
in and around the peaceful horse.
Now the child can sing another tune
and the dogs can close their mouths a little.
Later the neighbors can come together
and sing for another time, almost like the choir
without a leader.
Critique 9: The Replacement Poem
The Replacement Poem creates another avenue for creativity when it comes to writing poetry. I think this form is uncommon because writers probably find it challenging to make sense out of a peom where you replace the nouns, adverbs,adjectives and verbs.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Exercise 8: Powell's Books
Writing Exercise from a Post Card Called Powell's Books:
So I walked around in Paris, practicing a lot of French that I learned in class. I was really fun engaging in conversations. When I walked in Powell's, I was amazed by the variety of books I saw. Powell's Books is famous for their international collection. Inside there were paintings from every country in the United States and other places. Powell's attracted people from all over. The people in the area would stand outside to talk to tourists and ask them their plans for the duration of their stay. Since the people who worked at Powell's were so friendly and the neighborhood was welcoming, they had a stream of tourists visiting both on week days and weekends.
So I walked around in Paris, practicing a lot of French that I learned in class. I was really fun engaging in conversations. When I walked in Powell's, I was amazed by the variety of books I saw. Powell's Books is famous for their international collection. Inside there were paintings from every country in the United States and other places. Powell's attracted people from all over. The people in the area would stand outside to talk to tourists and ask them their plans for the duration of their stay. Since the people who worked at Powell's were so friendly and the neighborhood was welcoming, they had a stream of tourists visiting both on week days and weekends.
Critique 8: The Colonel
The eerie literary piece is filled with suspense as it unfolds into an unsolved mystery. If this was a movie, I think it would be a thriller. The part about human ears was shocking. It was an unexpected part of the plot. I did not expect something like that to appear in the plot.
Also, there is something cultural about the setting because the show on the television is in English and the commercial is in Spanish. We also know that the narrator of the story is foreign because she says, "I was asked how I enjoyed the country." This idea is later confirmed when she says, "As for the rights of anyone, tell your people they can go fuck themselves." This is where tenseionn intensifies in the prose.
The story proceeds with an indirect plot to the end.
\
Also, there is something cultural about the setting because the show on the television is in English and the commercial is in Spanish. We also know that the narrator of the story is foreign because she says, "I was asked how I enjoyed the country." This idea is later confirmed when she says, "As for the rights of anyone, tell your people they can go fuck themselves." This is where tenseionn intensifies in the prose.
The story proceeds with an indirect plot to the end.
\
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Exercise 7: A Photograph of Me
It was taken a few months ago
When I was there
In that old place, that
foreign place
I can still remember how I felt
The smile that shined from within
In the background there's a
lot of flowers
that made my day brighter
I'll never forget
that day
(It was taken
the day after I got the flu)
If you look really closeley
You will see
the medication in my bag next to me
so small, barely
noticeable
When I was there
In that old place, that
foreign place
I can still remember how I felt
The smile that shined from within
In the background there's a
lot of flowers
that made my day brighter
I'll never forget
that day
(It was taken
the day after I got the flu)
If you look really closeley
You will see
the medication in my bag next to me
so small, barely
noticeable
Critique 7: This Is a Photograph of Me
Margaret Atwood's poem has a free verse structure, with the first and sixth stanza being a cinquain, the second being a septet, the third through fifth being couplets, and the seventh being a tercet.
I think it's interesting the way she incorporates a dead person as her persona. Thiscertainly adds to the style and versatility of her work. The first stanza commences with suspense because it makes the reader wonder what was taken. The poem has a combination of enjambments and end-stopped lines. I think this also adds to her versatility because it's not just enjambment, or just end-stopped lines.
I think it's interesting the way she incorporates a dead person as her persona. Thiscertainly adds to the style and versatility of her work. The first stanza commences with suspense because it makes the reader wonder what was taken. The poem has a combination of enjambments and end-stopped lines. I think this also adds to her versatility because it's not just enjambment, or just end-stopped lines.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Critique 6: Her Lips Are Copper Wire
My Take on the Poem:
When I first read the title, I thought the person, particularly a fermale was wearing a lipstick that resembled the color of copper. I also thought about the electric forces in a copper wire. This led me to think that the electric charge in a copper wire is compared to a passionate force or connection that the speaker associate's with the woman's lips. Copper wire is used in chemistry experiments and I guess this is used to compare the "chemistry" between his lips and hers. Throughout the poem, there seems to be a connection between them.
When I first read the title, I thought the person, particularly a fermale was wearing a lipstick that resembled the color of copper. I also thought about the electric forces in a copper wire. This led me to think that the electric charge in a copper wire is compared to a passionate force or connection that the speaker associate's with the woman's lips. Copper wire is used in chemistry experiments and I guess this is used to compare the "chemistry" between his lips and hers. Throughout the poem, there seems to be a connection between them.
Exercise 6: Something on my Mind
Something on my Mind
I don’t know why
I wonder why
I need to understand
I wonder why
something is bothering me
I wonder why
something is bothering me
I will figure this out
The way it used to be
Time has abanoned me
So busy with school
My thoughts still puzzle me
I drink water to relax my mind
At this very moment in time
My thoughts will hopefully go away and leave me alone
The puzzle is completing
I put everything together in my mind
There’s progress, for something is happening
Remake of "I Live Where the Leaves are Pointed"
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Exercise 5: Combined Pantoum
Lost In A Mystery
I was scared of the silence
It was a peculiar moment
the needle dropped into the first groove
There was something beyond all that
It was a peculiar moment
I used to wonder what it was about the dam that made me think of it
There was something beyond all that
When she flicked off the backlight
I used to wonder what it was about the dam that made me think of it
I couldn't stop looking up at the sky
There was something beyond all that
I shaked my head
I couldn't stop looking up at the sky
The needle dropped into the first groove
I shaked my head
I was scared of the silence
I was scared of the silence
It was a peculiar moment
the needle dropped into the first groove
There was something beyond all that
It was a peculiar moment
I used to wonder what it was about the dam that made me think of it
There was something beyond all that
When she flicked off the backlight
I used to wonder what it was about the dam that made me think of it
I couldn't stop looking up at the sky
There was something beyond all that
I shaked my head
I couldn't stop looking up at the sky
The needle dropped into the first groove
I shaked my head
I was scared of the silence
Line Sources
At the Dam by Joan Didion - Lines 2, 4 & 6
Nude Interrogation by Yusef Komunyakaa - Lines 1,3, 10 & 12
Critique 5: What I think about Pantoum Poems
What I think About Pantoum Poems
Pantoums make interesting poems
Because the lines should make sense when repeated.
It may seem like a limiting factor
But the structure also paves the way for creativity
Because lines should make sense when repeated
You have to be careful with word choice
But the structure also paves the way for creativity
It's almost like a Free Verse
You have to be careful with word choice
For the poem to be coherent.
It's almost like a Free Verse
Because there's no set line length or syllables
For the poem to be coherent
It may seem like a limiting factor.
Because there's no set line length or syllables
Pantoums make interesting poems
Pantoums make interesting poems
Because the lines should make sense when repeated.
It may seem like a limiting factor
But the structure also paves the way for creativity
Because lines should make sense when repeated
You have to be careful with word choice
But the structure also paves the way for creativity
It's almost like a Free Verse
You have to be careful with word choice
For the poem to be coherent.
It's almost like a Free Verse
Because there's no set line length or syllables
For the poem to be coherent
It may seem like a limiting factor.
Because there's no set line length or syllables
Pantoums make interesting poems
Exercise 4: Inspired by Hemingway
Inspired By Hemingway
The Panasonic batteries, the advanced camera, and the recorder, the headphone, the sound of rain, waves crashing and trees dancing, and skills were all you needed.
The Panasonic batteries, the advanced camera, and the recorder, the headphone, the sound of rain, waves crashing and trees dancing, and skills were all you needed.
Critique 4: How Berry Creates Character
Laurie Berry creates character in her short fiction, Mockingbird, through image, voice, action, desire and presentation.
Image - The very first line of the story provides visual description, which suggests that Peter got sun burned in Mexico.
Voice - Rachel's comment about the people's house and their "nice things" suggest that she's observant. Peter's response indicates that that he has a greed for money. Her realization of being "in love with a man who has just traveled to a third world nation to play tennis" tells us that she is quite frivolous. When Peter looks up guiltily and asks her not to say anything, we see another aspect of his character. He hereby seems diplomatic because he turned his comment into humor without embarrassing himself.
Action - Drinking vodka in the second paragraph suggests that Peter and Rachel are laid back individuals. Since they were gossiping and spying, I got the impression that they were idle and simply passing time.
Desire - Her longing for Peter revealed her lack of self-pride because they made "love with the windows open." She desires him so much that she's unconcerned who sees.
Presentation - The second line in the introductory paragraph seems to be an example of authorial interpretation because Berry tells us that Rachel "is at that swooning stage of love." She did not have to mention this because her actions reveal that she is a giddy teenager.
Image - The very first line of the story provides visual description, which suggests that Peter got sun burned in Mexico.
Voice - Rachel's comment about the people's house and their "nice things" suggest that she's observant. Peter's response indicates that that he has a greed for money. Her realization of being "in love with a man who has just traveled to a third world nation to play tennis" tells us that she is quite frivolous. When Peter looks up guiltily and asks her not to say anything, we see another aspect of his character. He hereby seems diplomatic because he turned his comment into humor without embarrassing himself.
Action - Drinking vodka in the second paragraph suggests that Peter and Rachel are laid back individuals. Since they were gossiping and spying, I got the impression that they were idle and simply passing time.
Desire - Her longing for Peter revealed her lack of self-pride because they made "love with the windows open." She desires him so much that she's unconcerned who sees.
Presentation - The second line in the introductory paragraph seems to be an example of authorial interpretation because Berry tells us that Rachel "is at that swooning stage of love." She did not have to mention this because her actions reveal that she is a giddy teenager.
Critique 3 - Elegy for My Sister
On Elegy for My Sister by Sherod Santos
This poem evokes a mood of sadness through the diction and calm tone. It starts off with a list of things that reminds the speaker of his sister. I think this is a creative way to start a poem. The list suggests that the speaker misses his sister a lot. They must have been close because there's so much that reminds him of her. The last stanza indicates that the person died young because she had a doll and an imaginary friend.
This poem evokes a mood of sadness through the diction and calm tone. It starts off with a list of things that reminds the speaker of his sister. I think this is a creative way to start a poem. The list suggests that the speaker misses his sister a lot. They must have been close because there's so much that reminds him of her. The last stanza indicates that the person died young because she had a doll and an imaginary friend.
When My Friend Left the Earth (Exercise 3)
When My Friend Left The Earth
It is 7:30am in New Orleans, a Saturday
a few days after my
job training
First day of work
By 8am I am there
The library is so quiet
Barely anyone
there
the sound of
nothing
Off I go
After my shift
To take
a short nap
zzz zzz my phone alerts
Did you hear what happened, says
my friend
I am hurt, speechless, shocked
Mind frozen and stiff
Inside
I feel dead too
It is 7:30am in New Orleans, a Saturday
a few days after my
job training
First day of work
By 8am I am there
The library is so quiet
Barely anyone
there
the sound of
nothing
Off I go
After my shift
To take
a short nap
zzz zzz my phone alerts
Did you hear what happened, says
my friend
I am hurt, speechless, shocked
Mind frozen and stiff
Inside
I feel dead too
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Exercise 2: So Much Depends Poetry
So Much Depends I
So much depends
on flowers blooming
So much depends
on bright sunny days
So much depends
on leaves falling
So much depends
on snow falling
So much depends
____________________
So Much Depends II.
So much depends
on mothers
yesterday, today and
tomorrow
where we come
from
where we are
going
what we will
become
mothers, mothers, mothers
_______________________________
So Much Depends III.
So much depends
on
the things we
do
the things we
assume
black and white
day
and night; births
deaths
________________________________
So much depends
on flowers blooming
So much depends
on bright sunny days
So much depends
on leaves falling
So much depends
on snow falling
So much depends
____________________
So Much Depends II.
So much depends
on mothers
yesterday, today and
tomorrow
where we come
from
where we are
going
what we will
become
mothers, mothers, mothers
_______________________________
So Much Depends III.
So much depends
on
the things we
do
the things we
assume
black and white
day
and night; births
deaths
________________________________
Critique 2: The Red Wheelbarrow
The Red Wheelbarrow is a poem divided into four couplets that focuses on one wheelbarrow. A wheelbarrow would seem very simple for most people. But in this poem, it gets an unusual significance.
The word "red" in the title possibly indicates the wheelbarrow's imminent signification. Red often attracts attention. Perhaps this is also why the author chose to have an isolated stanza about just "a red wheel/barrow."
The poem is also comprised of enjambments, which create a rhythm. The enjambment also creates suspense because after you read a line, there is uncertainty of what follows.For example, in the first line, the author begins with "so much depends." After reading this line I didn't know where the poet was going with this. However, I was intrigued because I wanted to know what so much depends on. Therefore, enjambments can make a poem more interesting.
The speaker of the poem seems to be an observer because it is not written in first person. I get the impression that the setting is a farm and the speaker is a nearby farm boy or farm girl. It could also be a country setting if it's not a farm.Also, the diction is very simple, the tone is calm and there is not much going on in the poem.
The word "red" in the title possibly indicates the wheelbarrow's imminent signification. Red often attracts attention. Perhaps this is also why the author chose to have an isolated stanza about just "a red wheel/barrow."
The poem is also comprised of enjambments, which create a rhythm. The enjambment also creates suspense because after you read a line, there is uncertainty of what follows.For example, in the first line, the author begins with "so much depends." After reading this line I didn't know where the poet was going with this. However, I was intrigued because I wanted to know what so much depends on. Therefore, enjambments can make a poem more interesting.
The speaker of the poem seems to be an observer because it is not written in first person. I get the impression that the setting is a farm and the speaker is a nearby farm boy or farm girl. It could also be a country setting if it's not a farm.Also, the diction is very simple, the tone is calm and there is not much going on in the poem.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Critique 1: Empty Room Haiku
The empty room haiku by Jack Cain, which is unrhymed as a typical haiku should be, evokes profound emotions of loneliness and depression. The writer's use of enjambment creates suspense after the first two lines. The fact that the hanger is "swinging" is an indication of recent abandonment. Another speculation is that a nearby window or door was left open and the breeze had the hanger swinging. Also, the visual image that these words create, suggests possible tension that led to the described scene. Perhaps a couple was arguing and one partner decided to walk out, leaving the other in desolation... So little words, but so much can be inferred.
Exercise 1: My Haiku
"A poem is a small or large machine made out of words." William Carlos Williams
Small or large machine
A machine made out of words
A poem: machine
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